An essential factor in teaching children obedience is to establish their respect for your authority by making sure you enforce your requests consistently.
In the early months and years, you must teach your children that “father or mother knows best.” They must learn to trust you to make wise decisions for them when they are too young or immature to know what’s good for themselves. This is the time to establish your credibility as an expert decision-maker, an authority. The longer you wait to teach this lesson, the harder it will be for your child to learn.
An authority is a specialist, a wise person, an expert. This is the kind of authority you must strive to become as a parent. Your children should obey you because they trust your wisdom and expertise, not because they fear your superior power or strength.
The first few years of your child’s life are the time to convey the message of your authority. To do this you must enforce your instructions and requests immediately. However, make sure that your instructions are enforceable. Too many parents go about teaching the obedience lesson in the wrong way, trying to enforce the unenforceable.
Posted in Discipline, Family Life and motherhood, Guidance, Ideal Family, Love, Mother and Child Relationship, Nurture, Parent responsibility, Parenting, Respect
Tagged authority, child's life, credibility, decision-maker, expert parent, instructions and request, learn to trust, message of authority, obedience, parent, parent knows best, parent's wisdom, request, respected authority, wise decision
Parents shouldn’t wait for their child’s first teeth to emerge before caring for their infant’s oral health. In fact, say experts, dental care should begin shortly after birth. “People usually think that a newborn has no teeth, but the twenty primary teeth that will erupt in the first two and a half years are already present at birth,” says pediatric dentist Steven Perlman.
The most important contribution to oral health, says Perlman, is keeping the infant’s mouth clean. After each feeding, parents should wipe out thier baby’s mouth with a soft, damp washcloth or gauze pad. This can help remove plaque that can build up on the infant’s gums.
Posted in Baby Care, Family Life and motherhood, Guidance, Hygiene, Monthly activity, Mother and Child Relationship, Nurture, Parent responsibility, development
Tagged dental care, dental care for infants, important contribution to oral health, infant's gums, infant's mouth clean, infants, mouth clean, oral health
One of the fundamental laws of parenthood is if children what gets your goat, they’ll get it. It’s not that they want to presecute you. Neither are they out looking for things don’t like. For the most part, children enjoy pleasing adults. But at times children misbehave to get attention, to win a power struggle, or just to reap the sweet taste of revenge. When children know what really upsets you, it gives them ammunition to get back at you when they’re angry.
Typical “goat-getting” behavior usually are things parents have very little control over, such as saying “dirty” words, whining, lying, sassing, being lazy, or misbehaving when you are too involved to take action. Undue attention to these behavior is rewarding, and it’s exactly what a child wants.
Therefore, react in a calm, matter-of-fact way. Be firm. Explain the reason the behavior is forbidden and let them know the consequences of a repeat performance. Then move on. Don’t dwell on the misbehavior. In other words, don’t let them know what really gets your goats.
Posted in Baby Care, Discipline, Family Life and motherhood, Guidance, Love, Mother and Child Relationship, Nurture, Parent responsibility, Parenting
Tagged behavior, child discipline, forbidden behavior, fundamental law of parenthood, goat-getting behavior, misbehave, obnoxious behavior, repeat performance
Experts say playing an instrument teaches children how to do several things at once and develops memory and concentration. By requiring constant practice, it fosters perseverance, patience, and the ability to cope with frustration.
Music study also develops complex thinkingskills and teaches kids how to focus on small details and “the big picture” simultaneously. It also provides a nonverbal, creative vehicle for expressing feelings.
A child should be large enough to handle an instrument before starting lessons, educators say. And many experts recommend early childhood music classes, rather than individualized instruction, for youngster under five. These programs allow children to experiment with sound and rhythm in a nurturing environment.
There are Seven Steps in improving the reading skills of your children. Encourage them a love of reading simply by following these steps.
- Read to your children. Set regular time (just before bed is good with small children). Take time to explain new words or admire a picture.
- Make books available. Make sure your kids have both a number and variety of things to read – both books and magazines. Make sure your kids have a bookshelf and a reading lamp in their room.
- Visit the library. Plan frequent visits – not only can you check out books, but “books on cassette,” puzzles, CDs, and even artwork as well. Your library’s best resource, however, is the one most frequently overlooked : the librarian! Talk with your librarian; ask for any recommendations that he or she might have.
- Cut back on Television. List the show you want to watch. And make sure the television turned off the rest of the time.
- Reward reading. Help your child establish a goal. As you set goals, come up with rewards for meeting them. The best reward any parent can give a child, of course, is attention. Talk about the books he or she is reading. Ask question.
- Support reading program in school. Many school have reading incentive programs or contest. If your child’s doesn’t have, consider starting one. Read-a-thons make good fund-raisers.
Finding the time to read to our children and encourage them to read hard, but its worth the effort. Reading opens doors to the wonders of the world; you can go anywhere, learn anything, and meet anyone through books. When we instill in our children a love of reading, we give them wings on which to soar in search of their dreams. Along with Strickland Gillilan, they”ll be able to say, You may have tangible wealth untold; Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold. Richer than I you can never be – I had a mother who read to me.
Posted in Discipline, Family Life, Guidance, Ideal Family, Mother and Child Relationship, Parent responsibility
Tagged best reward, books and magazines, cut back on television, Effective Way To Get Children To Read, Help your child establish a goal, make books available, read to your children, reward reading, set regular time, support reading program in school, talk about the books, visit the library
Karla sees Islao on a bike. She approaches the boy and instead of asking him if she may take a turn on the bike, she pushes him. He falls from the bike and hurts himself. Karla rides off with the bike, leaving Islao crying.
The aggressive behavior described above is usually due to a lack of emotional control. Negative feelings like resentment, jealousy, or frustration are turned on objects, persons or even the child himself, because he cannot cope with situations that create these feelings.
This category of problem behavior, which usually appears around the ages of six to eight, includes:
- Sulking, grumbling, and answering back. This may be accompanied by pouting and the stamping of the feet.
- The deliberate breaking of things.
- Verbal aggression – shouting and cursing – to hurt the feelings of others.
- Profane language.
- Deliberate disobedience.
- Teasing, pestering or willfully annoying others.
- A massive and prolonged outburst of energy – running hard and striking at everything in his wake to a point of fatique or exhaustion.
- Physical violence – biting, kicking, slapping, boxing, grabbing, throwing things, etc
- Destroying or threatening to destroy the valued property of others.
- Protracted crying or hysterics which is very irritating to others.
- Arrogance and bullying – demanding to be followed and threatening to hurt those who do not do his bidding.
Posted in Discipline, Family Life, Guidance, Love, Mother and Child Relationship, Parent responsibility, Parenting
Tagged aggressive behavior, attitude, Deliberate disobedience, destructive behavior, misbehaving, misbehaving child, Negative feelings, values
Negativism, Stubbornness and Disobedience.
It is common practise among Filipino parents to call their child “hardheaded” or “stubborn” because he has been disobedient. It has thus become difficult to tell from the parents’ statements whether the child’s behavior is problematic or not.
For example, at around the age of two to three, your child will develop a tendency to say “no,” along with other negative phrases like “I won’t,” “I don’t” and “I can’t.” This is most likely to happen at mealtime, bedtime or bathtime, or whenever you issue a command. Some children say “no” so relentlessly that they say it even when they mean “yes.”
This does not mean that your child has become negative or defiant. He is merely asserting his growing independence. By disagreeing with whatever you propose, he forces you to treat him as a person.
Concerned parents and teachers should instead look out for the following behavior:
- He sulks or makes a fuss when given an order
- He drags his feet or is slow to respond to your call
- He insists on having his way and will not listen to reason
- He quarrels with hid siblings over household chores.
Tantrums. The child cried loudly and incessantly. He shrieks stamps his feet or throws himself to the floor kicking, in a wilful outburst of anger. The child is throwing a tatrum. Tantrums are an expected part of the child’s growing up. It is common between the ages two and three. Among very young children who cannot express themselves well and who, as yet, have not learned self-control, tantrums are emotional outlets. They are often the result of frustration.
Posted in Discipline, Family Life and motherhood, Guidance, Love, Mother and Child Relationship, Parent responsibility, Parenting, Respect
Tagged behavior, behavioral problem, dealing with the misbehaving child, disobedience, misbehaving child, negative attitude, negative phrases, negativism, stubbornness, tantrums
There are many ways parents can show LOVE AND RESPECT towards each other:
- Treating each other as important and equal partners
- Sharing household responsibilities
- Being interested in what each other thinks and feels
- Seeking one another’s opinion on all issues rather than making arbitrary decision
- Always responding to each other with kindness and consideration
- Admiring and acknowledging each other’s accomplishment
- Routinely practicing common courtesies such as “thank you ,“ “please,” and “you’re welcome”
- Paying attention to each other rather than always placing focus on the children
- Showing each other affection through hugs, hand holding, or a kiss to say “hello” or “goodbye.”
Posted in Family Life, Family Life and motherhood, Guidance, Love, Respect
Tagged acknowledge each other, admiring, courtesy, equal partners, kindness and consideration, love, paying attention, Respect, responsibility, share household responsibility, show love and respect, showing affection, treat each other as important
Do you want your children to grow up sharing your values? Here are ten ways to be your child’s role model.
- Water what you want to grow. If you want your children to freely exhibit patience, be a patient person yourself. If you want your children to exhibit kindness, be a kind person. And if you want your children to exhibit honesty, be an honest person. Water what you want to see grow in your children.
- Help children go against the grain. Do this by clearly and consistently stressing the virtues found in the Bible, such as “pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness” The values are often counter to our culture, yet desperately needed. Teaching children to go against the grain when they are young helps them develop inner strength to walk a higher path when they are older and not merely “follow the crowd.”
- Show respect. If you are a father, show respect for women. If you are a mother, show respect from men. One of the best things parents can do for their children is to show love and respect toward each other. The box to the left has some ways this can be done.
- Be loyal to family members not present. Sadly, in some families, members are not loyal to one another. This is evident when they criticize and gossip about other family members behind their backs saying things. When the family members discover that they are the objects of such gossip, they will feel violented, betrayed, misunderstood, criticized, and unfairly accused. A good rule to follow is to talk about other family members as if they were present.
- Show children that the family is your first priority. The family must be the main event, not the sideshow.
- Promote accountability. “One of the best ways to teach accountability is for you to become accountable to your own children.” Give them the freedom to tell you when they believe you are doing somethingwrong, unfair, or unloving. The simple way of doing this is to clearly tell your child, “If you ever see me doing something which you feel is wrong, unkind, or selfish, I want you to tell me.” While that tequires a lot of parental courage, it will also keep parents accountable.
- Be active in your church. Show your children that spiritual life and health are important by being active in your church. Attend services regularly. Never be the parent who simply drops the children off at church or a youth group. Be there. Be involved. Participate in some of the many activities. Your active involvement in church is one way of fulfilling the biblical injunction to “train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it.
- Verbally share your values with your children. Talk often to your children about the values you deem most important, and explain why they are important to you.
- Model effective conflict resolution. That advice is given by Elizabeth Hartley Brewer, an authority on parenting. “Constant conflict ruins relationships and tears families apart. Children are deeply scarred by conflict. Family conflict lies behind much teenage despair that finds expression in drepression and suicide.” When conflict arise, be certain to gather information by listening carefully and respectfully to all sides. Avoid interrupting someone who is speaking except for the purpose of clarification. Never raise your voice. “Resolvingconflict safely and satisfactorily takes emotional maturity and skill. Children have to learn these attributes from adults.
- Support the school. Be genuinely interested in your child’s school. Avoid speaking negatively about teachers or school administrators in the presence of your children, even if you have serious concerns about them. Be present whenever your child is taking part in a school event. Let children know you are supportive of the teachers, the administrators, and the goals of the school by attending parent-teacher conferences and other educational meetings that affect your family. That commitment lets children know you value their education and the people who involved in it.
Posted in Family Life and motherhood, Guidance, Ideal Family, Parent responsibility, Parenting
Tagged active in your church, be loyal to family member, church, help children go against the grain, model effective conflict resolution, promote accountability, role model, show children that the family is the first priority, show respect, support the school, verbally share your values with your children, water waht you want to grow, ways to be your child's role model
Frequently the patience of the mother is taxed with these numerous little trials that seem scarcely worth attention. Mischievous hands and restless feet create a great amount of labor and perplexity for the mother. She has to hold fast the reins of self-control, or impatient words will slip from her tongue. She almost forgets herself time and again, but a silent prayer to her pitying Redeemer calms her nerves, and she is enabled to hold the reins of self-control with quiet dignity. She speaks with calm voice, but it has cost her an effort to restrain harsh words and subdue angry feelings which, if expressed, would have destroyed her influence, which it would have taken time to regain. The true Christian mother will not drive her children from her presence by her fretfulness and lack of sympathizing love.
As a mother to my little boy, sometimes I quiet had loose my patience when he wants to be carried all the time. When I get irritated I sometimes forget that I already had raised my voice, but immediately I realize that it was not good that I’m raising my voice, and right away I apologize to my son. Day by day I learn my mistake, what I do before I step out of bed every morning is pray and always include in my prayer that I will have better self-control. And I ask for guidance from above to the Almighty One that my son will grow in accordance to His will.
Posted in Family Life and motherhood, Guidance, Ideal Family, Mother and Child Relationship, Parent responsibility, Parenting
Tagged a silent prayer, calm voice, fretfulness, lack of sympathizing love, learning to apologize, love, mother, patient of the mother, perplexity for the mother, quiet dignity, selfcontrol, speaks with calm voice, true christian mother
